Why it’s important to focus on what you want

Many of us tend to focus on what could go wrong in a given situation and there are good reasons for that. If you have a history of things being taken away from you, for example, you might anticipate that as a way to protect yourself.

When we were often disappointed in childhood (which happens in dysfunctional homes), we come to expect the worst as a matter of course.

“Waiting for the other shoe to drop” protects us from disappointment that no one helped us process. It also makes sense that we would base our future predictions on past events.

However, the fear, worry, and anxiety that accompany such negative projections don’t keep us safe at all. They only rob us of any joy in the present moment.

And it’s possible those feelings of doom can prevent the good from coming in. If it’s true that what you focus on expands, then those low expectations won’t create the bright future you deserve.

I heard a respected motivational speaker say that your most important goals should revolve around how you feel. As a goal-oriented person, this proclamation opened my eyes.

Since then, I’ve made feeling good and peaceful a priority, regardless of what’s going on in my external world.

Stop saying “don’t”

I’m reminded of the advice to never train a toddler using phrases that start with “don’t”. Apparently, they listen to all the words that come after “don’t” and do the opposite of what you want.

In the same way, your subconscious mind has a habit of hearing what you say you don’t want and giving it to you. Have you noticed that?

How would it feel to focus only on what you want and give gratitude for what you have, instead of lamenting what you lack?

This requires a huge mindset shift when you’ve been conditioned since childhood to feel a sense of lack. To believe God or the universe is working on your behalf takes a huge leap of faith.

As a youngster, you felt you had to control the outcome of every situation. You couldn’t trust that things would work out because that was too risky.

You carry that mindset into adulthood where you spend all your time avoiding what you don’t want instead of creating what you do.

Isn’t it interesting how what you don’t want keeps finding you in spite of that resistance? That’s where the expression “what you resist persists” comes from.

A mindset shift

A shift to focus on expecting the best will not happen overnight. It begins with noticing when you anticipate a poor outcome.

Start small, say, when you call for customer service and expect a negative outcome. While on hold, can you train your mind to expect that your problem will be resolved easily and gracefully?

Once you’ve seen results on that level, you can move up to more important matters. If you change your focus to what you want instead of what you don’t you will begin to see good things come into your life.

All that forcing and controlling you’ve done probably never got you the results you wanted. And the stress may have hurt your health, both physical and mental.

What works better is leaning into surrender and understanding you have the power to attract what you want. It’s a matter of focus, and deciding to feel peace regardless of what’s happening outside of you.