Why letting go of toxic people improves your whole life
You may have heard the value of letting go. Of releasing your intense feelings around the abuse you’ve suffered and forgiving those who’ve made your life a living hell.
But have you considered letting go of those people who create misery in your life instead? What if your feelings weren’t the problem, but the people causing those negative feelings?
I know we’re told nobody can make us feel a certain way but that’s not true. As someone whose nervous system got hijacked as a direct result of my narcissistic mother’s antics, I can attest.
We wrap ourselves up in knots trying to create a workable relationship with people who aren’t interested. People who may intentionally sabotage our attempts at happiness.
The amount of energy you pour into a dead-end relationship does not create its success. You have little to no control over how someone else behaves, especially if they’re nefarious.
Letting go invites success
We’re told to make special effort to preserve ties with family. Have you stopped to ask yourself why?
What many neglect to tell you is that by keeping toxic family members in your life, you close yourself off to good things in all areas. Letting go of these people will open up new channels to success and happiness.
We need to feel good to attract what we want. And when you’re surrounded by toxic people, you lower your happiness level.
As a result, you repel the things you desire, whether that’s in work or relationships. Worst of all, your sense of self-worth will stay low.
Do you get sick often? Have constant accidents and mishaps? These are symptoms of toxic people in your life who wish only ill for you.
When you allow these people space in your life, you de-value yourself. You might tell yourself you’re the bigger person, but your subconscious knows better.
You don’t believe you deserve to spend time with people who lift you up. If you did, you would never allow toxic family members to take up your energy the way you do.
The real reason you hold on
Ask yourself why letting go of these people is hard. Chances are it has nothing to do with your happiness.
It has more to do with the childhood conditioning that says you are responsible for maintaining relationships that are bad for you.
It’s the same conditioning that makes you believe life is hard. And you don’t get to have the joy other people take for granted.
It’s the fear of what people will think if they knew you detached from your parents/family.
It’s the childhood fantasy that one day they will change and understand you. Then you’ll finally be okay (never gonna happen).
It’s the societal lie that you’re nothing without your family. Regardless of how harmful to your mental and physical health they may be.
If you prioritized yourself and did what was best for you, letting go of these people would be a no-brainer.
You’d see improved health, happiness, finances, and well-being. I’ve seen it over and over with my clients.
Holding on to toxic folks will only breed more illness, depression, and lack. If you can’t seem to get what you want, whether in work or relationships, toxic people are often the cause.
They siphon energy that could be put into creating a life you love. Instead of drowning in negativity, you could be letting go of the source of most of your pain.
It’s not your fault
The self-help world loves to blame you for your unhappiness. Instead of placing the responsibility where it belongs: on the toxic people in your life!
If you want to break free from the tyranny of toxicity, especially in your family, learn more about coaching with me.
